4/3/2002 (FIT Football, Grimson)

So there is a back story here... FIT does not have a football team.  It never has... probably never will.  However the FIT football team is 2-0, with wins against Notre Dame and the Fashion Institute of Technology.  The first game was published before I got there in the April fool's edition of the Grimson, this sparked a sale of T-Shirts that said "FIT football" on them.  Years went by and the football team remained dormant until it was my turn to write a Grimson.  Since at the time we were actually in a lawsuit against the Fasion Institute of Technology for the rights to the FIT name, I decided we played them.  All of the players mentioned in the FIT team are intramural players.  Actually some time after this article I started seeing T-shirts that read "FIT football... still undefeated."
Florida Tech Football Wins A Nailbiter
Well… It’s that time of year again. It is time to resurrect the most feared of all teams, the Florida Tech Football team. This year the game was for more than just the Florida Tech undefeated record, it is also a fight for supremacy of names. This year Florida Tech clashed on the gridiron against the Fashion Institute of Technology to determine who the real FIT is. The game started out quickly as we expected with Dante Williamson running the opening kickoff back 108 yards to a touchdown. The Fashion Institute of Technology Prancing Fairies got a good offensive position when the Panther defense let them run it back to the 30. The fairy threat was then stopped; a sack from Nick Fera, a tackle for a loss by Michael Wahlgren, and an interception by Sean Stavely ended the Fairy threat. The Panther offense tried to slow the game down, but gamebreaking running back Donny Wilson busted a 65-yard run on the fairies. After another successful kickoff the fairies actually showed they were not going to go down without a fight. After Cornerback Rande Nicholls slipped and fell the fairy quarterback, Inazzio (no last name) threw a wobbling pass to streaking (literally) wide receiver Joe Armani. None of the Panthers would come within 10 yards of the naked Armani who finally ran out of bounds to argue with the referee’s choice of shirt. With the Fashion Institute of Technology within field goal range the Panther defense clamped down; Joe Lustig injured five Fairy blockers on his way to the quarterback. Mike Theret swiped a pass away from the still naked Armani. After a run up the middle by Rick Hilfiger, which was stuffed in a  hurry by Frank Trevino, the Fairies were forced to kick. Bob Gramatica booted in a long range field goal (we all know how kickers are). The game continued and the two teams went into the Locker room with the Panters up 133- 9. While the teams were walking into the lockerrooms at the half the Florida Tech Coach Ditka slammed a clipboard on the ground, flicked off the Crimson’s own Jeff Kelly and trotted into the lockerroom. After screaming at the players about the lax defense, and an offense that was not executing properly he sent the Panthers out to the field to see none of the Prancing Fairy team anywhere. A hidden camera in the fairy lockerroom (don’t ask) shows that the players were busy arguing about the color of each others shoes and how the uniforms didn’t compliment their undershirts. After a great deal of coordination the Fairies took the field again sporting new uniforms. Coach Ditka had something a little special in mind for the Fairies in the upcoming half. BJ Ligocki set up down one of the sidelines, Kovach lasered a pass into Ligocki, Ligocki immediately got plastered by the fairies’ Brendan Hilfiger; unfortunately for Hilfiger Ligocki had already tossed the ball of to Justin Marrero who, with some fine running managed to slice through the fairies defense. Forty-three yards later another seven was thrown up on the board for the Panthers. The Fairies came roaring back and the sent Armani (who by this time had been convinced to put some clothes on) for a buttonhook play. Armani pulled a double move and threatened Dante Williamson with a drop-yourpants fake, this bought Armani enough space to take it down the sideline for a touchdown. The game began winding down and with the Panthers only up by 124; Ditka decided it was time to take a chance to get some points up on the board. With only .3 seconds left Ditka called a timeout and drew up a play. Kovach took the ball back, and after ducking under Melvin Klien’s attempted tackle lofted a ball high and far, Mike Theret ran under the ball, grabbed it, and blazed to the endzone to seal the scoring. Time ran out on the game and allowed Florida Tech to dominate the FIT domain. When the dust cleared Brett Kovach smashed Dan Marino’s all-time record by passing for almost 800 yards (45-62). Donny Wilson combined with Ian Zapatocky to rush for a combined 385 yards. The defense was impregnable, The Crimson’s own Nick Fera recorded 15 sacks, and 11 tackles, John Hallenback had 10 tackles, and Frank Trevino had 10 also.